


Babe

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Babe - Styx, Ficlet, M/M, in which dean is emotionally constipated, intense car jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:47:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is jamming out to one of his favorite tapes when one of the songs stirs up feelings that he didn't even know he had (and frankly he just doesn't understand).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mementomoriarty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mementomoriarty/gifts).



> This is the kind of intro work for the Mixtape challenge. The song that inspired this is Babe by Styx (obvs).

A loud horn sounded, interrupting what Sammy would call my “dying snake dancing” which didn’t make sense to me until he used it as an excuse to simultaneously force me to watch a video of a dying snake (which, for the record is actually really damn amusing, I highly recommend it) and show off his brand new smart phone like the fucking nerd he is. I jerked on the wheel to correct myself, just in time to avoid getting creamed by the semi that was now speeding off in the opposite direction.

Ignoring the increased rhythm of my heart, I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to play it cool, as if there was someone else in the car to witness my embarrassing near-collision. But hey, can you really blame me? Mr. Roboto is like one of the best keep-Dean-awake song during those middle of the night, research food runs. And by that, I mean I can’t just listen to the damn song and not friggin dance. It’s goes against everything that I believe as a human being. The final chords were vibrating the speakers just as I got my baby back to where she was supposed to be to begin with. With a soft pat on the dashboard, I apologized to her, saying, “I’ll never put you that close to harms way again.”

Just after that, I thought hard, trying to remember which song was supposed to be next. This cassette was one of those “Greatest Hits” deals, so it was sometimes hard to tell these tapes apart from the actual cassettes. All at once, I realized what the next song would be, just as the keyboard began to play. A warm feeling pooled in my gut, just like all the other times I heard a song that required karaoke.

_Babe, I’m leaving_  
 _I must be on my way_  
 _The time is drawing near_

The warmth in my belly shot up into my lips, forcing an involuntary (and, embarrassingly, damn goofy) smile to plaster itself on my expression. I sang along with the next verse, without giving it a second thought. Hell, at least I’m alone. Sam would most likely give me shit for not skipping it within the first five seconds, much less actually knowing the words by heart and singing along.

_My train is going_  
 _I see it in your eyes_  
 _The love, the need_  
 _Your tears_

Dad always skipped past this song whenever we listened to the original Styx cassette, which had always just made me curious, and made me want to listen to it more.

_But I’ll be lonely without you_

I started singing at the top of my lungs, so loud that the tightness of my neck muscles made the veins in my forehead protrude and throb.

_And I’ll need your love to see me through_

Looking back now, I understand why Dad always skipped this song. I’m sure it reminded him too much of mom. It’s hard to listen to a song like this without the words reaching out to some part of you, stirring up your emotions. Not that I ever like secretly hoped for someone that I could relate a song to (which I did) or fucking cried listening to it (which I totally fucking did). It’s just one of those songs, man.

_So please believe me_  
 _My heart is in your hands_  
 _And I’ll be missing you._

Aside from it being one of my guilty pleasures, I have to admit, sometimes hearing the words made me a little jealous of Sam. I mean, I had Lisa for a while, but I had to go and fuck that up. What he and Jess had was perfect. Maybe if I hadn't come back for him, Jess would have still been alive. My smile and the volume of my singing quickly fell, but I continued absentmindedly following along with the melody, sometimes singing the words and other times resorting to just humming along with the tune.

_Cause you know it’s you babe_  
 _Whenever I get weary and I've had enough_  
 _Feel like giving up_  
 _You know it’s you babe_  
 _Giving me the courage and the strength I need_  
 _Please believe that it’s true_  
 _Babe I love you_

It had been a while since I had listened to the song, so my emotions could have been a little confused, but for some reason I felt butterflies as the last words of the chorus rang out. I decided not to dwell on it, though, instead thinking about all the times I sneaked out of our motel room to the Impala just to listen to the song. I listened to the second repetition of the chorus, seeing ten year old Dean really listening to it for the first time, eyes closed in the drivers seat of the Impala. I was so naive then, thinking that someday I would have someone to sing it to, to share it with.

_Babe I’m leaving_  
 _I’ll say it once again_

I felt the tear rolling down my cheek before my brain had an opportunity to catch up with my emotions. _Fuck_ , I thought as I wiped it away angrily, as if getting angry at it would have somehow made it retract back into my eye.

_Somehow try to smile_

I don’t fucking understand why I get upset about this shit. I accepted long ago that I was going to have to spend my life alone.

_I know the feeling_  
 _We’re trying to forget_

Forgetting. It’s something I always have to do. Bobby was right. i was out. I was happy with Lisa. I don’t think I really loved her, though. I gave up too easily. A real man (one who loved her at least) would have at least tried to win her back. If only for a while Honestly, sometimes I feel like I only went back to scare her. Save her while she still had the chance. I never really knew why I went when it was so dangerous for me with that whole bloodthirsty disposition I had going on, but sometimes I like to speculate.

Cause I’ll be lonely without you  
And I’ll need your love to see me through

Maybe some part of me knew she wasn’t right for me, or I wasn’t right for her, whatever. So, I broke into her house, _our_ house, knowing that if I scared her enough, she would be the one to end things. God knows I’m too much of a damn baby to do it myself.

_Please believe me_  
 _My heart is in your hands_

Whatever, I didn’t want to really think about it too much. Sam will know something is wrong if I let myself get all soap opera now since I was already pulling into the parking lot. I tried to tell my stupid brain to drop it, ignoring some nagging feeling, as if my weirdo emotions were trying to tell me something that my brain just wasn’t getting.

_Cause I’ll be missing you_

Just as I was pulling into a spot directly in front of our door, Cas poofed into existence, right in front of the door, facing my direction, as if I had called him there. What is with this guy and his weirdly impeccable timing. A smile crept back up from another reoccurring warmth in my belly that I hadn’t quite figured out yet. I shook my head as I reached for the keys to turn the car off just before the last words purred through the speakers.

_Babe, I love you_

There was some feeling, deep down that made me stop dead in my tracks. The notes of the keyboard gave my realization a kind of soundtrack. I looked up to see the corners of Cas’ lips turn up in a smile of his own. _Son of a bitch_ , I thought at the same time the angel’s lips parted into an all out toothy grin. “Son of a damn bitch,” I said out loud as I pulled the cassette out of the player and skimmed the song list. I had forgotten that I changed out the Top Hits tape earlier because hell you can only listen to Baby Come Back so many times before it makes you want to rip your goddamn hair out. Anyway, the point is… Babe wasn’t on this tape.

_Babe, I love you_

I felt my heartbeat quicken. This has to be a joke, right? Cas just learned what a prank was, right? Suddenly, I realized that reoccurring heat I mentioned just a minute ago, it had been slowly been getting warmer ever since I had first met Cas. And I only felt it whenever he was around. _Wow, am I really that dumb?_ I looked up just in time to see Cas chuckle and look down at his feet, shifting them awkwardly. _Oh my god, this is real, isn’t it?_ Cas looked up at me from underneath his long, dark eyelashes with a look that was equal parts sad and ‘you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me.’ My throat was suddenly dry. This couldn’t really be happening, right? Without warning, Cas disappeared from where he had been standing only to reappear in the passenger seat next to me, making me jump.

“Jesus, Cas. Give a guy a little warning,” I said, placing my hand over my heart, wondering if it was the startle that had made it quicken or the fact that Cas was in such close proximity, brushing my hand with the back of his. A blush creeped its way up the back of my neck, bleeding into my cheeks. Suddenly breathless, I disguised my surprise as a scoff and turned my head to hide my upcoming pink complexion. I guess this is the real deal… Cas gave me a smug look after hearing my thoughts (which it was totally obvious that’s what he was doing; the little feathery asshole wasn’t even trying to be conspicuous about it). Then something magical happened. An honest to god laugh erupted from Cas, making him throw his head back. His smile made the heat in my gut flare up to an out of control forest fire (where’s Smokey Bear when you need him dammit). Then, he looked up at me with his beautiful eyes, bluer than anything I had ever seen. Well shit, I guess I’m fucking in love, goddammit.

_Ooooh, Babe._


End file.
